'She wants him gone': My friend took in a homeless man as a caretaker. After 10 years, how can she evict him?

By Quentin Fottrell

'He lived rent-free, helping her with health-related issues and other tasks'

"He sits in his room most of the time and he seems angry all the time." (Photo subject is a model.)

Dear Quentin,

I have a situation in California. A friend of mine befriended a homeless man and took him in. He has been living with her for over 10 years. He lived rent-free, helping her with health-related issues and other tasks.

Over the past few years, however, he has become moody and unwilling to help her. She is now in her early 80s, and he is in his 70s. He does not want her family visiting, and when they are not there, he no longer helps her. She performs dialysis at home and now has a healthcare worker who comes to assist her.

He sits in his room most of the time and he seems angry all the time. She would like him to move out, but he does not collect Social Security or have any income. She wishes him no harm, but because of his behavior, she wants him gone.

What should she do?

Concerned Friend

Related: 'The numbers don't lie': If I had invested my Social Security in the S&P 500 I'd have $4 million. Is the system broken?

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Moving people in is always easier than having them removed.

Dear Friend,

Abide by the law at all times.

I'm mostly concerned about his unwillingness to allow family to visit. It illustrates that there is already a sense of ownership of both your friend's personal space and her rights to live freely and independently. This is a major red flag, as the first sign of possible elder abuse is isolation. This may escalate if he feels threatened with eviction. You may want to have a male family friend stay with your friend during this time - or, at the very least, move nearby and visit her daily. Her safety should be the No. 1 priority.

Moving people in is always easier than having them removed. There is often a price to be paid for such goodwill. In this case, he was unknown to your friend and, even though she needed help from a caretaker, she was taking a risk inviting this man into her home. He may have had mental-health issues and/or other substance-misuse issues that led him to become homeless. Even if he is a stable individual and grateful for a place to live, it's never easy to take away something that was given so freely to begin with.

Under California civil code, if this man has lived in your friend's with her permission and pays no rent, he may still be considered a lodger or "tenant at will," which gives him legal protections. Eviction may be easier for the former. In California, tenancy is based on proof of residency, not necessarily payment of rent. Once this man has established your friend's home as his primary residence - staying for a year or more, receiving mail to this address and/or storing his worldly belongings there - he is treated as a legal tenant, not a guest.

Formal eviction order

That means it may take a formal eviction order or legal action to remove him. I assume he will not go willingly, given that he feels like he has a right to live there and has nowhere else to go. What your friend should not do: change the locks or remove his belongings. That would be illegal. She may have to give him a 30-day written notice to leave. (If he were a paying tenant living there for more than a year, she would have to give him a 60-day notice period.) If he refuses, she must file a lawsuit in the local superior court. Only a sheriff can remove him physically.

Practically, she may also consider a "cash for keys" agreement to encourage voluntary departure, which can avoid a drawn-out eviction process, with the cash being given upon leaving (not before). When communicating with him, keep it calm and firm, and make sure everything is in writing. Given her vulnerability - her advanced age, serious medical condition and his refusal to help her or allow family access - she should also consider documenting incidents and seeking legal advice or legal aid to confirm his status as a lodger or a tenant at will.

So what now? She can sit him down (if she can get him out of his room) and tell him, "It's been a good run for 10 years, but I don't think either of us is happy living together anymore. I want to live alone and have my personal space back. I trust you understand. I'm giving you 30 days' notice by letter. It's formal, but I know you've been here for a long time, and I want to abide by the correct channels." If he says no or asks for more time, she should stick to her guns. If she gives him an extra month or two, it could turn into another month, and another after that.

Be vigilant until the process is complete.

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More columns from Quentin Fottrell:

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'I was shoveling sidewalks at 8 years old': I'm a 73-year-old boomer dad with two kids. Here's what I teach them about finance

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-Quentin Fottrell

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