Learning from 'Love Is Blind' money drama

By Genna Contino

Hear me out: These reality-TV couples are having really important conversations about love and money heading into Wednesday's finale

Love may be blind, but your eyes should be wide open when it comes to your financial future as a couple.

Happy Election Day! 🗳? MarketWatch has some great midterms coverage you can check out here. But if you're looking for a break from politics, I've got you covered with one of my favorite topics: reality TV.

Throwing on "Real Housewives" or "Love Island" is a guilty pleasure for many of us after a tiring workday. But hear me out: These shows can teach us a lot about human behavior - especially when it comes to money.

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This season, "Love Is Blind" - where people "date" each other through a wall and decide to get married before they even learn what the other looks like - has been especially rife with financial drama. I've found the heated discussions over income gaps and housing budgets to be just as juicy as the fights over intimacy as they head into their Netflix-sponsored nuptials.

This season takes place in Boston - the eighth most expensive metro area in the U.S. - so it makes sense that, this season in particular, conversations about where to live and how to split expenses are top of mind for contestants. The millions of viewers (3.7 million watched the show the week of Oct. 19, according to Netflix) tuning in from other cities can likely relate, too. For many voters, especially younger ones, today's midterm elections are all about affordability.

With the Season 11 finale airing tomorrow, Nov. 4, and peak engagement season kicking off this month, I thought it would be a great time to highlight what we can learn from the cast about the financial decisions that can truly make or break a relationship.

Warning: "Love Is Blind" spoilers below.

🧑?🏫 3 money lessons from 'Love is Blind'

I know firsthand how tricky it can be to talk money with your partner, but it's an absolute must if you're moving in together - let alone getting married. These three "Love Is Blind" couples perfectly embody some of the most awkward yet essential money matters to figure out first.

"Love Is Blind" couple Aneha Singh and Cam Halloran are dealing with sizable wealth disparity.

The problem: Managing a major earnings gap

Aneha is a 28-year-old biotech engineer paying around $3,000 a month for a luxury apartment - but her new reality-show fiancé, Cam, a 29-year-old HR generalist, pays just $750 to live with roommates, the couple shared on the show. She wants them to move to the Boston Seaport or Cambridge, but both areas are costlier than Cam can afford. She also doesn't want to split expenses 50/50.

Uh-oh.

Aneha said that even though she makes good money, she considers herself a "traditional modern woman" who expects her husband to provide for her. "Just because I have my own [money] doesn't mean I want to use my own," she said. Cam disagrees. "I think marriage is more of a partnership," he said. "And I've always envisioned two people in a partnership coming together that have each other's back."

Cam and Aneha's income situation isn't unique. In fact, about 30% of married women without children were breadwinners in their households in 2023, according to a Center for American Progress analysis using U.S. Census Bureau data, while 45% of mothers were breadwinners.

But dating coach Damona Hoffman notes that traditional values have shifted from the days of the man in a relationship automatically being the provider. Women now have access to greater financial freedom, which leads to more choice and opportunity, "but it also creates dissonance when someone is expecting to be bankrolled by a partner," Hoffman said.

The fix: Figuring out how to compromise when it comes to incomes and values

The fairest way to handle income disparity, Hoffman said, is to first reach an agreement on what you can realistically afford together. This avoids the possibility of one person feeling overextended while the other person becomes resentful about compromising their lifestyle. Once you understand what you both can actually afford, you can discuss an equal percentage of income to contribute to rent, utilities, household expenses and other combined necessities.

"Marriage is a partnership, and in any great partnership, both parties have to be willing to make compromises," Hoffman said.

"Love Is Blind" couple John Shannon and Sarah Williams are facing the familiar question of joint versus separate bank accounts.

The problem: Merging money while still protecting financial independence

Sarah, a 34-year-old healthcare program manager, wants to keep her own separate bank account rather than pooling everything into a joint account with her fiancé, John, a 33-year-old account executive.

"I was very vocal about financial freedom for women," Sarah said. This isn't out of the ordinary, either - a Bankrate survey earlier this year found that 62% of couples who are married, in a civil partnership or living together keep at least some accounts separate.

The fix: Setting up both joint and individual accounts

The couple - who both make good money - came up with a compromise: setting up a joint account to save for shared goals, while also holding on to their individual accounts. "I like the idea of, she has her money, I have my money, and then we have a joint account to save up for a house or something," John said.

How you approach the conversation about separate accounts matters, said New Jersey-based couples therapist Debra Feinberg: "'I want us to have a joint account for our life together, and I'd also feel good having a little of my own,' lands very differently than, 'I want to keep my money separate,'" she said. "Lead with the 'us,' then name the 'me.'"

And it's a good idea to keep that line of communication open and revisit the conversation about joint and separate accounts in a year or two, or around key financial milestones like buying a home or having children.

"Love Is Blind" couple Erika Ellis and Blake Carver need to decide where - and if - they'll set down roots.

The problem: Deciding where to live

Erika is a 37-year-old marketing director who owns a home in Connecticut and wants to start a family. She's matched with Blake, a 38-year-old yacht captain who has joked that he is "comically broke." Blake lives a nomadic, seasonal lifestyle in St. Thomas and suggests Erika join his island-hopping orbit.

But Erika is realizing that "island life" isn't the dream Caribbean escape you might think. As Blake's friend has warned her, "If you are planning on raising kids there, you need to take into consideration the lack of healthcare, the cost of travel. There's no longer direct flights between there and Boston. It's a more expensive place to live, a harder place to live." And Blake seems unsure about whether he's ready to settle down and have kids.

While money plays a big role in making decisions about career, living situations and family planning, Hoffman said there's more than money driving a wedge between this pair: "It's that they are on two different life trajectories entirely."

The fix: Having an honest conversation about roaming vs. setting down roots

"Homeownership, children and a rooted life is completely at odds with a nomadic lifestyle, and one's financial goals should generally align with their lifestyle goals, both present and future," Hoffman said. "There's a reason that a nomadic lifestyle is often a solo one, and he will have some big choices to make if he wants to live in partnership with Erika."

The bottom line: As these conversations play out on our TV screens, we see how awkward they can be, sure - but also how essential it is to make sure your financial values are aligned with those of the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. A difficult conversation for half an hour or so is better than years - or even decades - of regret that can end in a painful and pricey divorce.

Love may be blind, but your eyes should be wide open when it comes to your financial future as a couple.

👩????💋?👨 More love and money advice from MarketWatch

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- My wife cried when I found out she had only $80,000 in her 401(k). I have $2.2 million. Am I wrong to be shocked?

📩 Reader tips

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👋 About Genna

I'm Genna Contino, an award-winning journalist on MarketWatch's personal-finance team. I'm 28 years old, originally from South Carolina, and currently splitting the rent on an overpriced apartment in New York City with my fiancé. When I'm not writing about my hack for saving hundreds of dollars on airfare, or the four must-have money conversations before moving in with your partner, you can find me reading a celebrity memoir, overanalyzing reality TV, junk journaling, borrowing DVDs from the library or getting thoroughly humbled in an adult ballet class after a 10-year hiatus.

-Genna Contino

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