'It's a life-changing sum': Can I stop my kids from using their inheritance to support political causes I vehemently oppose?

By Quentin Fottrell

'I would hate for our money to end up in the hands of organizations that oppose everything we have supported throughout our lives'

'If we were both to pass away at the same time, our children would suddenly have life-changing sums of money.' (Photo subjects are models.)

Dear Quentin,

Is it possible to prevent an heir from spending their inheritance on things to which we are diametrically opposed? I would hate for our money to end up in the hands of organizations that oppose everything we have supported throughout our lives.

We are in our mid-60s and hope to live another 20 years, but if we were both to pass away at the same time, our children would suddenly have large money. It's a life-changing sum. One would handle it well. The other, not so much.

The Parents

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You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Some attorneys say differences of political opinion among family members are increasingly common.

Dear Parents,

At some point, you will have to relinquish the control you have over your children.

I have received many letters from people who are concerned about their assets falling into the hands of their child's spouse and others from parents who are concerned about their child's gambling or substance-misuse issues. I have never received a letter quite like yours, but I suspect that you aren't the only parents who have ideological differences with their children and fear that their wealth will be used in a way that goes against everything they believe in.

It is possible to control access to the principal, and it is not uncommon for people to do so. Trusts can be designed to never give the beneficiary a lump sum, pay only for approved categories such as education, health and housing, and even reimburse for expenses rather than distribute cash. Distributions can be dependent on whether the beneficiary has a job or tests negative for drugs, and does not become involved in criminality. It's harder to make distributions dependent on your child's political views.

I would empathize with your intentions more if your children had actual real-world problems - related to antisocial behavior, gambling or even substance misuse.

Still, you have a menu of trust types to choose from: A lifetime discretionary trust gives the trustee power to decide when, how and why to distribute money. It's the estate-planning equivalent of handing your kids pocket money. It's tricky to control what heirs do with your money; however, you can prevent them from ever owning your estate outright. An independent trustee could make such decisions, based on your instructions, after you're passing. It's a lot of work to ensure your kids do what you want.

I could probably empathize with your intentions more if your children had actual real-world problems - related to antisocial behavior, gambling or even substance misuse. If you were afraid one of your children would waste their money on gambling and the seedy underbelly of their town's nightlife, you could also set up a spendthrift trust to shield those assets from any creditors and to make timed payouts in smaller amounts.

Similarly, a purpose trust ties distributions to specific milestones or behaviors, such as graduating from college or purchasing a home. A charitable remainder trust provides income to your heirs for a set period of time and distributes the remainder to your favorite causes. Directed trusts have different trustees responsible for investment, distribution and oversight to help ensure that your wishes are followed. Indeed, a poorly chosen trustee could seriously undermine your instructions.

Polarized society and families

Attorneys say differences of political opinion among family members are increasingly common, and some parents disinherit their children over opposing ideological views (doing so is possible in every U.S. state except Louisiana). Fleming & Curti, a law firm in Tucson, Ariz., says it has seen a growing number of clients who are considering disinheriting a child because of politics. "But disinheritance is extreme. A trust often can accomplish the clients' goals without cutting the child out entirely," it says.

"Families are typically tolerant of varying political views. Parents put up with their children experimenting with different ideologies. And children tolerate their parents' adherence to what they may see as rigid systems," the law firm says. "The vast majority of parents leave their property equally to their kids, regardless of politics. But some are realizing what might happen if they leave a child with extreme views in their plan. The assets they have worked hard for may end up funding purposes they can't stand."

A lifetime discretionary trust gives the trustee power to decide when, how and why to distribute money. The equivalent of giving them pocket money.

Our world has become increasingly polarized, exacerbated by social-media echo chambers. Even Bad Bunny's recent Super Bowl halftime performance was a lightning rod, cleanly demarcating a line between left and right. What I like about your letter is that you don't specify what charitable, political or ideological causes you and your children support. On that note, should your children get anything at all? Why not give it all to a cause you support? That is one option to consider.

So why give them anything at all? I suggest it's because as much as you have your own worldview, you love your children unconditionally. You raised them to be independent and critical thinkers so that they can navigate the world, whether they are on the right, the left or some other point on the ideological spectrum. The less control you exercise over them, the freer they are to make mistakes and learn from them. With or without an inheritance, they should be equipped to stand on their own two feet.

Your question poses an interesting financial and ethical question: Can your money help your kids to lead a happy and fulfilling life whether or not they are not free to use it as they please? It's your money, after all, and you have spent years toiling away, so why should it be used in a way that is at odds with your life's work? Should your children's inheritance come with stopgaps and caveats, or is it better to simply leave them a sum for education and housing and give the rest to your favorite causes?

Or leave it without any strings at all?

Related: 'I got seriously burned': My financial adviser took me for lunch, bought my kids gifts - and had me invest $500,000 in annuities. What should I do?

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I have early Alzheimer's and my husband has stage 4 kidney disease. We just inherited $50K. How can this help us?

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-Quentin Fottrell

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02-22-26 1612ET