My friend asked me to get them a job at my company, but they're not qualified. What should I say?

By Aditi Shrikant

Awkward requests for job help could pop up more often, as it takes people longer to find work

In a softening labor market, relying on friends for an introduction is increasingly necessary. But it can create awkward situations. Here's how to handle it when a friend asks for help getting a job.

A previous version of this story misspelled Michelle Reisdorf's name.

Zach Getson knows what a bad intern looks like.

Getson, 32, is the marketing manager at Capitalogix, a fintech company his dad started. He's held the position since he graduated from college in 2015.

"We have taken employees - usually it's a client's son - and they survive the summer and do as little as possible to the point where I start to question whether they even have a functioning brain," he said. "I'm so frustrated with the level of thought."

He has also worked with his fair share of good interns, some of them high-school classmates whom he helped land the position. These longtime friends-turned-coworkers were usually competent, hardworking, and "pursuing the best for themselves," he said.

That's why when one former high-school classmate asked Getson for a summer internship, he knew he couldn't give him one.

"This person was an underachiever, making bad decisions," Getson said. "It wasn't just laziness or lack of opportunity. This was someone who was willfully making bad decisions and willfully doing damage."

Longstanding friendships are punctuated with uncomfortable interactions - forgetting a birthday, accidentally revealing a childhood secret, fighting on vacation. One of the most anxiety-inducing conversations to navigate, though, might be when a friend asks you to recommend them for a job, and you just don't want to do it.

Perhaps it's because their happy-hour stories paint them as the squeaky wheel, or they haven't stayed at one company for more than six months. Maybe it's that you simply don't know their work ethic or skill set.

Denying this request seems rude, but acquiescing might put your own professional reputation at risk. For Getson, the fact that he is the CEO's son puts him in an even more scrutinized position.

"I recognize nepotism got me in the door so I worry how I'm perceived by my teammates, my bosses and my clients," he said.

Plus, it costs the company about $15,000 to hire an intern for the summer. He didn't want to spend that on someone who might reflect poorly on him.

With the numbers from the latest jobs report softer than expected, awkward asks like this seem poised to become more common. People are worried about their job hunts: Americans' expectations that they could find a new job within three months hit the lowest point since 2013 in August, according to New York Federal Reserve data.

If you're getting requests for job referrals from friends who you aren't sure would be fit co-workers, it could be smart to figure out a way to be honest, but tactful, about how much you're willing to help.

If you're just starting out on your money or career journey and have questions about how to navigate your finances, we want to hear from you. Write to Dollar Signs, MarketWatch's new advice column, at dollarsigns@marketwatch.com.

Personal connections are important in a soft labor market

In a softening labor market, relying on friends for an introduction is increasingly necessary, said Michelle Reisdorf, district director of talent solutions at the recruiting firm Robert Half.

"In today's market you have to do more than just apply online," she said. "Personal connections are very important in opening doors."

More than one-fifth, 21%, of workers say personal referrals without networking have advanced their career, according to 2025 data from Robert Half.

For "the market we're in right now" networking is extra important, said Priya Rathod, a career expert at Indeed. For the first time since April 2021, there were more people looking for jobs than available job openings, according to data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

"There are a lot of applications for every role right now and there is a lot of noise so having someone who works at the company who fast-tracks your resume through the hiring process is helpful," she said.

But that doesn't mean unqualified people get a pass when a friend recommends them. "Personal networking is most effective with a strong resume and relevant skills," she said.

As is building a network of industry connections outside of your friends.

"You can't just network when you're looking for a job," Rathod said. "You should really be networking consistently throughout your career."

In fact, 34% of workers said in-person networking events with other professionals were most effective in advancing their career, according to Robert Half's data.

"Even if you do have a job or have a job right now, you should aim to connect with new people each month," Rathod said.

You can be a resource to a friend without promising a job

If you don't want to recommend a friend for a role, but don't want to hurt their feelings by telling them so, there are a few ways you can navigate the discussion.

Let's say you don't know anything about their skill set and you aren't the hiring manager. In this case, your recommendation might not actually hold that much weight, said Tessa West, a psychology professor at New York University and author of the book "Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them."

"It wouldn't make sense to go to HR and say, 'Hey, can you look into this person' and if they say 'Why?' the answer can't be, 'Because we were on the baseball team together when we were 10,'" she said.

This pivots the conversation to the fact that you're not well-positioned to recommend someone, rather than them being a bad fit.

If you don't think they are equipped for the role, you can provide more information to them about what the job actually entails, as opposed to a referral.

"I'd give them a little feedback about what you're going to need to be competitive for this job," West said. "Give them that kind of insider baseball feedback. Once you start doing that with a friend, they could get the sense that they are not well-placed yet."

It actually might help them narrow their job search and benefit your friend in the long run.

"A lot of people are applying to roles they're not getting and it's because no one is telling them this isn't really the right role for you," West said.

If you feel comfortable, you can also help them expand their network by introducing them to others at the company who might be closer to the hiring process or have more information.

"The friendship role is more about hooking them up with connections to people in the company, not saying they would be good for this job," she said.

Another option is to pass the responsibility to someone else, Rathod of Indeed added.

"You can forward on their resume and leave it up to the hiring managers," she said. "In those cases, you've done your favor to your friend."

As for Getson's request from his high school friend, he ended up lying to his friend.

"I was like 'Hey man, I wish we could, but we gave out all our spots,'" he said. He told the friend to ask again next year. "I don't know if they would have taken it well if I had given them the honest truth," he said.

-Aditi Shrikant

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09-22-25 1437ET