My brother asked me to sign as his executor, but wouldn't let me read the document. Should I have refused?

By Quentin Fottrell

'I imagine scenarios like this happen more often than people realize'

"This situation does not seem ideal." (Photo subject is a model.)

Dear Quentin,

Years ago, my husband's sister called and asked me to be the executor of her estate. She explained why she had chosen me and gave me specific instructions about how she wanted certain things handled.

A few weeks later, she emailed me what appeared to be a copy of her will, but it was unsigned. It was very straightforward and didn't include any of the details she had discussed with me over the phone.

A few years later, my husband told me that I was no longer the executor. My sister-in-law had become close to a new friend - her tenant - and had decided this person would be a better choice.

Around the same time, my brother asked me to be the executor of his estate. He had me sign the last page of what appeared to be his will, but he didn't want me to read any of it. I don't have a copy, and I have no idea where it would be if I ever needed to find it.

This situation does not seem ideal. Was I ever really my sister-in-law's executor if I never signed anything and only received an unsigned copy of the will? And if my brother dies, do I tell someone that years ago I signed something naming me as executor?

I imagine scenarios like this happen more often than people realize. Gosh, I hope I go first.

Uncertain Executor

Related: My ex-husband's sister died - so why is Fidelity asking me for her death certificate?

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

You might have signed away your rights to your parents' inheritance.

Dear Uncertain,

Your sister-in-law may just be a bit flaky. Your brother, however, acted very suspiciously.

Being named as executor is not the same as actually becoming executor. Your sister-in-law could have nominated you in her will without having you sign anything. You would only become executor if she died with that will in effect, and the probate court appointed you.

You never signed legal paperwork agreeing to be your sister-in-law's executor (or executrix). For that reason, treat it as a wash. She asked you. It was nice to be asked, and your husband "unasked" you on her behalf.

In many U.S. jurisdictions, an executor is named in a person's will, not by signing an acceptance beforehand. The executor typically accepts or declines the appointment after the "testator" dies and the probate court opens administration of the estate.

Was it the most elegant way of handling the situation? Nope. Has your sister-in-law, for better or for worse, saved you an awful lot of time and work that goes into being an executor? Absolutely. It's a thankless job, and one that also comes with legal jeopardy.

Forgive me for being an alarmist, but your brother's document gives me pause. He asked you to be his executor and you signed an acceptance of appointment (sometimes called an acceptance of executorship). He did not allow you to read the document.

There is no sensitive financial and/or estate-planning information in such a document, so I don't understand why he would not allow you to read it. (Usually, it will have his name, Social Security Number and date of birth etc.)

It's not like he didn't want you to, say, read his will or bank accounts or 401(k) transcript. What bothers me is that you signed a document - we don't even know if it was an acceptance of appointment - without reading it. Frankly, you could have signed anything.

You might have signed away your rights to your parents inheritance; a power of attorney, giving him authority over your finances or legal affairs; a deed or quitclaim deed transferring ownership of real estate; or even a beneficiary designation or trust document.

Related: Should wealthier Americans forgo their Social Security benefits as a charitable gesture?

Declining the role

You should never sign a legal document if you are told not to read it, rushed or pressured to sign, or if the title of the document does not match the explanation or has suspicious blank spaces left to be filled in later.

There's no way to know from your description exactly what you signed, and that's precisely why it's never advisable to sign any legal document you haven't reviewed. I don't know your brother, but I do know - from letters to this column - that people do the oddest things.

If your brother did have you sign a document you could alert the probate court - if he predeceased you - to decline the role. You cannot be compelled to serve as an executor, even if you're named in someone's will.

The appointment is a nomination, not a legal obligation, and you are free to change your mind. If you choose not to serve, it's best to do so promptly so the estate can be administered without unnecessary delay.

There are many reasons to decline, including living far away, health issues, conflicts of interest, or simply lacking the time or ability to manage the estate. It's more common than many people realize, and being named as executor does not obligate you to accept the role.

If you decline before the court appoints you, you simply do not file a petition for letters testamentary. You have no legal duty to step forward, although you should notify the beneficiaries and any alternate executors named in the will as soon as possible.

In your situation, the simplest course would be to decline the appointment after your brother's death (assuming your brother predeceases you). That approach avoids unnecessary conflict during her lifetime while preserving your right to step aside when the time comes.

Probate typically takes four to 12 months, and executors are usually entitled to reasonable compensation, often 1% to 3% of the estate (but this varies enormously by state and estate). Keep that in mind before you make your final decision about taking on this role.

And, my friend, please don't sign a document without reading it again.

Don't miss: 'They cut off online access': My mother's bank balance plummeted after her death. What's going on?

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More columns from Quentin Fottrell:

'I have a moral and ethical conundrum': My husband was killed by a careless driver. I received $2 million. What do I owe my stepdaughter?

'My head hit the driver's window': A teenager T-boned our car. Will Medicare pay my hospital bills?

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Check out The Moneyist's private Facebook group, where members help answer life's thorniest money issues. Post your questions, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

-Quentin Fottrell

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08-08-26 1200ET